If I could make my butt do that, I would do it all the time.
Justin (on twerking)
Ella: That awkward moment when your professor sticks you in group with three blond white bitches and you are suddenly forcibly reminded of what being marginalized feels like.
Me: This just happened?
Ella: THAT EXTRA AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOU SEND A TEXT TO THE WRONG PEOPLE
Ella: IGNORE THAT TEXT WAS GOING TO FRIENDS WHO AREN’T WHITE
Justin 2.0: I’m getting you an iPhone for our weekeversary.
Lauren: You missed it by an hour.
Justin 2.0: ….Damn it….
Justin 2.0: Just wait until our fortnighteversary.
Me: Do, a deer, a female deer.
Justin: Re, a drop of golden sun.
Me: Mi, a name, I call myself!
Justin: Fa, a longer way to run!
Me: So, a needle pulling thread!
Justin: La, a note to follow so!
Me: Ti, a drink with jam and bread!
Justin: That brings us back to do re mi fa so la ti do!
Jacob: Oh wow i shouldve looked at that before i sent…i meant to say finished.
Mika: No, Ben went to the hospital for-
Ben: Emergency vasectomy!